tired of this piece of string

friday nights - this was MY bed
girls from jess howard on Vimeo.

something bad inside
I have this uneasy feeling. This fluttering in my chest. I remember when fluttering in my chest meant i was in the presence of someone i was madly in love with. Fluttering now is part of my constant state of anxiety and sorrow. I am so tired of being the bad guy in this town, in this relationship, in this conversation. Going through a divorce sucks. It sucks you dry. The pulling apart of two lives. Some parts like crazy glue. Those years s

i push, i pull, the days, go slow
i am so tired of this loneliness then answer your phone asshole. i can't. i can't. i don't know what to say. i'm afraid of what i might say. he said you're making it hard for him there is nothing i can do about that. all i can do these days is sleep, work, parent and sit in my bed and participate in this endless void of both heady and lowly banter. i don't have the mental capacity to even begin to address those words, the audacity of them. you put your angel wing necklace on again i need it. i feel at the end of my rope. i can't take another single thing. i still have so many things to de

random thoughts while laying in bed/lying in bed
I have been sick with the flu for three weeks. It has been really yucky. My oldest daughter has been sick that long too. (We each felt better for a few days and then it came back even worse.) My youngest daughter caught it on monday and i put her on TamiFlu and she was better in two days - get yourself some TamiFlu if you get sick. ************************************** I weighed myself this morning when i picked up the kids

The Great Interview Experiment
Neil is brilliant. He is a master of getting people to his blog. He is funny and charming on twitter. He writes and links to lots of people. He starts small little scurries of opinion. All of it makes him someone that everybody knows. I do know him, i spent a few hours hanging out with him in Chicago last summer and found him charming and gracious and kind. Anyway, he is doing his yearly Great Interview Experiment and i am taking part. I was interviewed by "D" at Decoy Betty and here is what i had to say: Why is believing there is magic in this world so important to