An Estrogen Thing
I think most, if not all of you can relate to this one.  You know how as soon as you turn on the vacuum cleaner or the hair dryer, you hear the doorbell ringing or the phone ringing?  Now 9 times of out 10 there is nobody at the door or calling you, it’s just your brain playing cruel tricks on you. Well I used to just chalk it up to a “mom-thing.”  We are so used to multi-tasking that I guess we imagine these noises knowing that there is no way that we can really dry our hair or vacuum un-interrupted, right? Well tonight as I was vacuuming the playroom carpet for the 8 time in the last three days, the Big One started screaming, “I hear the doorbell! 

Something’s Gotta Give
My kids have been alternating with the puke-fest for far too long.  It’s coming down to the wire in terms of their ability to survive much longer in this house.   We are officially out of Cheerios, Ritz Crackers, Goldfish, yogurt, eggs, bread and milk.  For my kids that constitutes about 90% of their daily diet.   We still have chicken dinos, graham crackers and I believe one PopTart.  Other than that, my kids are going to starve unless I can find a way to get to the store today.    

There in No Pleasing This Kid
Now I love the Big One to death.  She is my child and I will always claim her as my own, but let me tell you there are days when I swear she is 99.999% her father.   I can say that because there is never  a time when I have ever been such a pain in the butt.   This is just one small glimpse into my daily life.   It was 5:30 a.m. It was still dark outside, as it should be at 5:30 a.m.  I was asleep, when suddenly I hear small footsteps followed by a cranky little four-year-old voice bellowing, “MOMMY! Why is it so dark in my room?”   “Well, {Big One} it’s still sleeping time.  Is your sun on yet?” I replied.

Pride, Who Needs It?
Before I even go any further, I am going to give you a stern TMI warning.  Only continue reading if you are prepared to read about things you probably could go the rest of your life without knowing. Ask any mom and they will most likely tell you that their pride flew out the window the moment they gave birth.  By the time the baby is born, our bodies have been poked, prodded and monitored by way too many people. I’ve decided that really that whole experience is designed to prepare you for the wonderful things that your children will say or do to you out in public. Honestly before kids, farting in a public restroom was cause to hide i

The Things We Do
The Big One is 4 and a half years old. The Little One is two and a half.   I would venture to say that I am an expert at smelling when someone has pooped, whether it be in the potty (the Big One) or in a diaper (the Little One).   So why, I ask you faithful readers do I insist on asking them if they pooped when I know good and well that they have?   Typically the Big One gives it away by asking me to “turn the air conditioner” on in the bathroom.  Of course she wants the fan on because she is stinking herself out.  (She must get that from the Husband!).   The Little One vehemently denies it all the time. I know s