Black Friday: Into Mount Doom
Well, by some wild hair I apparently had up my ass, going out early for the Black Friday sales seemed like a fine idea. I don't know why. I perused the Black Friday offerings online, and there wasn't any one thing that made me think, "I gotta have that!!!" Not. One. Thing.But there I was, standing in my shower trying to wake up at 0400. We weren't shooting to arrive when the doors opened. I'm not a complete masochist. But to get somewhere and still maybe catch, err, something.So, Mom staggers over and bleary-eyed, we get our caffeine fix before our first stop, Target. We both agreed that Walmart was ground zero, and should be avoided at all costs. Especially

Nurse Follies: NOT Appropriate!!
Sometimes, cute little old ladies are endearing, when they are not worrying about they are two minutes late from having their scheduled bowel movement. They are so cute, you just want to put them in your pocket and take them home and bake them prune cookies. Other times, not so endearing as they are mean as a pit of rabid dogs. Look into the history, and it's not shocking to find that they are retired nurses.But, there are the ones who start out cute as a button, but then turn on a dime and scare the hell out of you. Take the 80-year old lady who was admitted for an electrolyte imbalance.Little Old Lady: Honey-child, do you have a husband?

Because Sausage is for Southern People
I heard this on the radio the other day. I almost pissed myself because I was laughing so hard.Enjoy.

Nurse Follies: Why I Refuse to Work in th ER
Because I'd slap this woman halfway through the conversation. My hats off to those who do work in the ER. Generally, people like this aren't admitted (unless, according to the recently published Harvard Study, you have insurance), but occasionally one slides through the cracks and they get to have me for their nurse. People like this make nurses re-evaluate why they became nurses in the first place. Some doctors, too.And you wonder why you have to wait four hours to be seen in the ER? It's schmucks like this that hold up the line. I wish I could say that patients like this are rare, but they are not. There's enough of them to spawn an entire race. Skin-color irrelevant

Under the Big Top
Over a month ago, Mother told me to reserve such-and-such date because there was a family outing to the circus. The circus. What 34 year old, never-been-married, womb dried and shriveled up barren female, wants to go to the circus?But the peer pressure waxes strong with Mother, so I orchestrated a trade at work, and got the day off.Mother said I could bring a guest, and my attempts to invite one were met with incredulous looks and transparent excuses (none of my single friends wanted to go either). So, not only does childless, husbandless me get to go to the circus, I also get to go stag.It was a morning show, starting at 10am. Mother said we