church

and the air is just too still
You know when you’re walking and all of a sudden it’s not you walking anymore, it’s a figment of you. Your feet pound the pavement and avoid the cracks but you can’t feel the vibrations. That’s what numb is.She was only seventeen.Seventeen and two weeks.Seventeen and negative two years.Plus two months. It was like numb.It was like novacaine. It was like heroin,It was like forgetting and it was like remembering.Novacaine. Bars on the windows foreshadowing the soon-to-bePreacher staring between two metal bars andHis holey underwear. Briefs, not boxers,Because boxers let his junk just sitThere and he didn’t lik

vodka did this
Blue and green and mustard. Concrete floors and bruised foreheads.Vomit and blue raspberry vodka.Lysol and Walmart.And you.The best thing about tonight Is that I got to sleep cradledBy your strong arms and I Felt safe.Forget the heaving and theLettuce leaves and the Cucumber slices floating Around like baby green Ships on your floor.Forget the headacheAnd the unsteady legsBecause you wereMy safety.No, no. I am too Vulnerable and IWant to die and IShouldn’t be weak-Lamb eyes, doe eyes-It will get me ravaged andTorn and broken again and again.

snap, crackle, pop
Snap, crackle, pop.Frosted flakes in your clear cereal bowl float like bloated bodies on the foam of the sea.“Do you want some?” I want it all. I want to eat the bed and the comforter and your fuzzy blue blanket and The walls and the music and most of all the air.“Sure. I’ll have a bite.”Food is nourishment, or so they say but I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.It is a lie and it engrains itself into my very core and chokes life out of me.You seem so comfortable around it, like it is your friend,Like it has never hurt you, and it probably hasn’t.Life is so unfair. There’s us- the Barbie dolls and Twiggy’s and por

lately every breath feels like i'm kissing death
Ah, Jon Foreman. He always has something that goes perfectly with my mood- always.I'm back. Hello, world.College is crazy. I feel like I've learned so much and yet nothing at all. . . It's strange. Maybe it'll sink in.This'll be a short blog, since it's two in the morning and I've got to get up at 7:25, but I felt like I couldn't put off writing any longer. It's in my blood, after all.Here's a short piece, more of a reminder really of all the things that were (gasp!) happy about my childhood that I'd like to give my future children.When I have kids, I'm going to tell them to sleep tight and to n

they say i fall in love too easily
Hello, world.If I had to describe the last few weeks in one word that word would be "new". There's such a sense of urgency and freedom, and brand-spankin' new "newness" about life.I haven't handled it all too well, honestly. There was the whole three-beers-gets-me-drunk-who-would-have-known thing, and some other stuff I'd rather not discuss, but over all, I love college.Oh, yeah. I got a tattoo. It's a trinity symbol (you know, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit) but it also represents earth, wind and fire. It's on my shoulder. Get on facebook, there's pictures.What else? Well, Will and I broke up. Well, no. I let Will go. It was obvious he still liked his ex, a