It Is NOT Thanksgiving Tomorrow.
Guess what tomorrow is. Thanksgiving? WRONG. AND I HATE YOU ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD.It's actually my BIRTHDAY. I know do you believe it? Of course you do because you thank the universe every day that you found this blog and that my existence is real. (*Note, I wrote th

My Life Is The Hotness And Here Is Your Proof.
Every town in America has one…one of those weird shopping centers with a Lowes, Target, Old Navy, whatevercrapbuffet restaurant, etc. Ours was recently just blessed with a new addition: a BJ’s. Yes blowjobs! No. I lie. For those of you unaware, this is one of those wholesale stores like a Costco or Sam’s Club. B and I put on our Sunday fancies and a smile for what was about to be one hot Saturday that made me want to

Thanksgiving Outing With Suri.
Ok Suri, don't get too excited with yourself just yet. Yes I got away, but they may still find me. I saw on Cops that this yellow tape means people have to STAY BACK. Hear that Katie? Stay the F back. There is security everywhere and they are armed. I am not, I repeat NOT drinking out of a GD baby bottle anymore. See this? It's BOTTLED WATER. Evian in fact. This is all I accept!

Single Guy: He Has Your Lost Crap.
I think I might open a Pawn Shop I went to pick up my keys before I left and I reached in to a bowl where I always leave them and noticed a few silver bracelets that have been there since God knows when. What are those silver bracelets from you ask…well they are from a sleep over where the girl decided to leave them behind. So here we go again with remembering Sex and the C

Not Knowing How To Make Coffee and Then Making it Should be Illegal.
Problem.I never make coffee. I don't know how. B always makes it or I just drink the war juice they have at the office. Well this morning I made it. I just poured the coffee powder grains in...no measuring. Who measures? I am unable to post a legitimate blog post right no