Ostriches, unicorns and awesome.
"If a rabid unicorn burst through the office door today and tore my face off I wouldn't be surprised. What a week."Sure - it might be a random quote taken out of context. Sure - it doesn't really apply to the week that I've had. Sure - it may not be relevant to this post in any way shape or form. But it's pretty awesome, no?Well, my friends, I'm about to awesome your face off like the end of that Indiana Jones movie where the bad guy's face melted off except my mystical force will be The Awesome instead of God's Fury Fist of Rage. Otherwise it's pretty much the same. 'Cept maybe a little lower budget. Okay, it'l

Boob Tuesday #5
The relationship between gay men and boobs is a complicated one indeed.Why, for example, have I seen, felt, adjusted, and become overall more acquainted with better boobs than the average heterosexual male whom I can only assume would be much more appreciative of the opportunity? What makes it okay for girls to regularly encourage me to give their girls an Alley Hobo

Stop his reign of terror
I'm being sexually victimized by my ten-pound dog.I get it - dogs lick. It's a fact of life that I totally appreciate. How nice it must be for absolutely everything to be SO! SCRUMPTIOUS! that you must dedicate your entire life to dragging your tastebuds across floor tiles, kitchen cupboards, sidewalks, feet and dead things. That's just wonderful for you, dog.What I don't appreciate

The Poolside Miracle
[Lesson learned: if you tempt fate by mentioning a particular favourite story of someone who created you through the marvel of genetics, you will receive said story by email and be expected to post it. So...without further ado...I give you....a story written by my Dad. With interjections by me of course. It's MY blog, goddamnit.]  The Setup: Ben was a young boy exp

One for the Canadian King
[A word doodle today to celebrate the George Clooney of blogging: It's Peter DeWolf's birthday. Go. Show him with love. Like you do everyday. Not that I'm jealous...]Most days I wake up (That's a lieI wake up every day) Thinking of RedUnderwearWomen's underwearThinking ofStolen glancesOfWomen's underwearAnd incredibleSexWith lips flutteringFrom ankleTo hipboneTo women's underwearThen I thinkWhatTheFuckMy first thoughts shouldn'tGo straight to straightRomanceSexHeartacheHotel