pride? can't afford it.
I used to say I had pride. That I was independent, strong, knew myself, could take care of myself and always would. Lupus forced me to let that go a little, to learn that sometimes you can't do it all. But if you had asked me I would have said that I was still independent, still self sufficient, still strong, still me. Ha.I can no longer afford my pride and if I am going to solely rely on myself the next few months, well I should start looking for a cardboard box now. There are no doubts about the situation I am in, I am not going to paint a pretty picture, or sugar coat it. Wouldn't help and I don't have the energy anyway. Besides there are a lot of people right where

the beginning of the end
Let me preface this post by saying the following: I know I am not the only person in this situation. I know that there are others who are suffering the same, or different, or worse events than I am. But that does not dimish my experience or feelings. We are not here to compare who is worse off, it isn't a contest, and you don't have to win to be able to cry. I am not ignorant of all that can go wrong in life, I am simply expressing how I feel about what I am going through right now. Once upon a time, I was following life's plan, the one we all seem to get a copy of without knowing it. Grade school, high school. college. job, marriage, family... with options like gradua