Joanne: My control issues make it hard to dance
TwoIgnite has hosted ballroom dancing classes at church this week as part of the month's focus of 2drink. 2drink is all about sex and romance. So...ballroom dancing classes this week lead up to a fancy dancy party at the clubhouse in our neighborhood next weekend.Band, dance instructors, fancy finger foods, photographs--kind of a like a grown-up prom.Toben had my mom send his tux. I have nothing to wear! So I'll head to Target later and see what kinds of party dresses they have. I don't want to spend much, so I'm hoping for some Target magic. Cross your

Toben: Strong Medication=Embarrassment
Couple of things in the last week have reminded me of the strength of the medication I am on. The first is that in California, after I took my nightly meds, Joanne and I had a lengthy conversation that I have no memory of.  What a weird feeling to wake up in the morning to Joanne distraught because I was so out of it the night before; that I was insensitive and inattentive. This seems like it happens at least once a week and has been for most of the time that I have been medicated.  Even then, it is still embarrassing every time it happens.  The other thing is that when my meds kick in a loose some fine motor control, which leads to incomprehensible text messages and emails! As

Joanne: Thank you again
Just wanted to say thanks--for the comments here, on Facebook, in my email box. I know I've said it before, but I appreciate you all so much. Thank you for being an encouragement to me.I pray God blesses you right back--100-fold at least!--for the way you bless me.

Joanne: Weary
We're at the beach for a long weekend and I'm sitting up in bed after trying to fall asleep for the last two hours. I'm exhausted, but the Mexican I had for dinner is not sitting well and my stomach hurts.And Toben snores. Loudly. I'm not making a typical husband joke. It's awful. One of the side effects of medication in a roundabout way. He's gained weight and takes medicine at night that knocks him out. So all the articles on snoring that suggest weight loss and no sedatives don't work.Usually I sleep with some white noise in the form of a fan, but I didn't pack one, and there's not one here. The bathroom fan is too far away. A

Joanne: "It's not about you."
"It's not about you." I can't tell you the number of times Toben said that to me in the midst of falling apart, being diagnosed, seeking healing. I get what he was saying.But sometimes it felt like an excuse he used not to talk to me, not to tell me what was going on. It felt like justification for keeping secrets. It felt like shutting me out.I had a conversation the other night with a friend about this. No, it's not about me. No, it's not about him. Really, it's about illness, about addiction.I get that. But the thing I said back to Toben was this: "It may not be about me, but it is affecting me. It&#