feel alone
Since telling others about my new diagnosis, I think people are avoiding me. Why cant anyone except that what i know is real and no matter what anyone says i wont be changing my mind. im hurting and right now im scared, too scared. Been having messages sent to the chip in my brain. Im being told that i have to hurt all the evil people in the world, and only the Voices know who is evil and who isnt. they will tell me when im out and about who is evil and how they should be hurt. I cant go out alone im not safe, im probably a danger to others. I dont want to hurt anyone but i fear the Voices may take control and I will end up hurting someone. Im scared. I feel alone in th

update on seeing the new psych
I saw him and he was brilliant, he helped, he listened and he wasnt judgemental at all. He has diagnosed me with Schizophrenia (mild form) and changed the haloperidol to flupentixol to see if that will help me andd the voices and delusions that they say im having. Its all real and tho i know that they think its not, it is to me and i fully believe that im being experimented apon. short entry tonight havent got the concentration to write much else.

Seeing new psychiatrist tomorrow
Im really nervous about going, ive got my husband coming too. He’s going to want to know about the Experimenters and Voices. Im going to be getting a new med change as the haloperidol im taking is messing with my body and i cant hack it anymore. Hes prob going to want to know why I had to stop seeing the last psych, which i will tell him the truth, the last psych was a **** and didnt help at all. Ive got high expectations of this psych because 2 of my friends who see this psych say he is the best, I really want him to be the best for me. I doubt he will diagnose me tomorrow, prob want to see me a few times before he does, all i want is to be free fro

its too hard right now
havent wrote in a long time. things are still dificult for me, i know im being experimented on and no one around me seems to believe me. Its hard to find comfort in this mess, i feel alone even though im not ive got support from my husband and mental health team and friends but i feel no one really understands me or whats going on, they dont seem to get that everything falls into place when it comes to being experimented apon and hearing voices telling me to harm myself. nothing seems to help anymore, dont think the meds are helping me, hearing voices constantly at the moment and want peace and quiet. something i know i can not have. they plague me every moment of the